Tuesday, June 12, 2012

So, so, so much bad news.

I literally have no reason to keep returning to my blog, but who gives a shit? I certainly don't.
Well, a lot of things have been happening since the last time I said anything on here. For one thing, I'm not even at my house anymore. I'm in Alabama staying with my dad for the summer. And my great uncle Lee had a stroke and now is suffering from dementia. Fantastisch.
Also my grandfather passed away. My mom is really upset about it. I didn't know him that well, but I still knew him enough to care when he left. (Wow, way to go, man. Now you sound like an insensitive bitch.)
I haven't talked to my cousin. I'm pretty sure she doesn't know I'm in Alabama. I'm about an hour away from where she lives, and I really want to talk to her. But it seems like she doesn't care to talk to me anymore. I don't blame her. I wouldn't want to be in my company either. It seems like whatever comes out of my mouth only causes pain to others.
I should just stop talking altogether.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Hmmm... Depressing poetry, no?

So hello everyone on here who doesn't exist. It's me again. Feel free to tell me how disappointed you all are that I'm not someone of immediate interest.
So, a lot has been happening lately, and I'm surprised I haven't broken down crying yet. Maybe I'm just some emotionless blob who just can't cry over something serious anymore.
My mother and grandma have left for two weeks to SD, to see my grandfather who may or may not be dying. Possibly the latter. I hardly ever see him, and I don't know much about him either. It's kind of like my dad. Except that I see my father much more frequently. And I know him better. So maybe it's more like an extreme  dad scenario. Or maybe I'm the one exaggerating.
It's the latter.
So now that my 'guardians' have left, I am now at my house, typing on a computer, sleeping in my mother's room instead of the couch (My bed has paintings and wall decorations on it. We are re-doing my room) left with only my brothers, one of whom doesn't live with us anymore, but still lives very close by, so he's taking care of us basically, and his girlfriend. I don't want to go to school tomorrow because I don't want the threat of breaking down suddenly while learning algebra and have everyone asking me "Faith? Are you crying? What's wrong?" How the hell am I going to answer that?
It's like this:
"Faith, what's wrong?" To which I would reply. "Oh, it's nothing." Then they would automatically say, "It's not nothing. Please tell me." I would say, "Why do you want to know?" They would say, "Because I care about you." What a load of shit that is. After a few moments of me rejecting their.... Ahem.. offer to help me through whatever it is I would be crying about, they would say "Whatever. If you're not going to tell me than fine." And walk away in a huff. It has happened more than once. It is all just curiosity that they are trying to mask as false consideration.
Oh yes, and I also have a cold.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

(Insert title here)

So, hello again. It’s been awhile. Like, two or three weeks. Nothing’s really changed for me, but what about you? How are you today? Fantastic I hope.
Even though I know absolutely no one reads this blog I keep posting to, I feel compelled to share the things I do and things I feel during the day with the internet. Is that strange? Hmm. (something to think about)
I’ve been writing some poetry recently. It’s not like I didn’t already, but I’m going to try to write something new almost every day. It sounds difficult, but I really enjoy writing, so I think I’ll just have fun with it. ^///^
So, I think I really want to see The Lorax. I used to love Dr. Seuss books when I was little, so I think I’ll really like it. I was supposed to see it on March 5th, my birthday, but it didn’t happen. My mother hasn’t taken me anywhere yet. Two weeks late mom, two weeks! Oh, and regarding my last blog post about my birthday, my dad didn’t forget, thank god, and neither did my cousin, or the like. I was really overjoyed at that. I really thought he would forget, I was panicking the whole day before, and the whole day I was at school while it was my birthday. I was quite relived.
So, I started Bakemonogatari. It really screws with your mind, honestly. But altogether I’m enjoying it fully. Not currently reading any manga, but I finished After School Nightmare, and it was really amazing. Unlike anything I’ve ever read before. I also read/watched Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne, and I would definitely recommend the manga more than the anime. Not saying the anime was bad, but it left out a lot of important details and changed things around so much that you would miss if you only watched the anime instead.
(Btw, the author’s name is Arina Tanemura. I really love her manga. I would also recommend The Gentleman’s Alliance Cross and FullMoon o Sagashite by her as well.)

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Hot Damn

Wow, where does the time go?
My birthday is today. WHAT? When did this happen? I was not aware of this!
Just kidding.
But I'm pretty sure my dad forgot my birthday. And my cousin, my step-mom, and everyone else but my Grandma. Even though I never forget their's. Go figure.
But I guess I won't know for sure. But then again, on Facebook my birthday is marked and I really don't feel like taking it down, so I guess they can just say "Oh hey, it's -----'s birthday. I'll pretend I actually cared enough to remember and post another shitty wall post! YAYYYY."
That's scarily accurate.
14. Now that's a scary number. But one year older, and next year it'll be fifteen, which will be, by then, another scary number.
My way of thinking sure is ridiculous.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012


Well hello Blogger world. I'm back (hooray). At least for the moment. I can't predict when I'll disappear again. But yeah. Hi.
I'm kinda sick right now, and I've missed two days of school. It may not seem like much, but work piles on absolutely too fast for my pace. And then I just feel the need to pile on the anime and manga to top it off. I mean, I'm already reading Death Note because I've already seen the anime and I wanted to see what the manga was like, and I just felt compelled to re-watch Soul Eater, and re-read Full Moon o Sagashite. What is wrong with me?
Not to mention that I've already started so many animes from back in 2011 that I can't keep up with the ones I've started in between, or the ones I keep adding to my to-watch list. #Insanity
And then for some reason I keep re-watching animes like an idiot... Like Inuyasha, The Daughter of Twenty Faces, Peach Girl.... That list goes on and on and on. Then while I'm trying to keep up on anime, I'm trying to keep up on homework/projects/etc. It gets soooo stressful and irritating. Go die homework! Jump into a bonfire! Sheesh! I'm trying to listen to Naruto making a fool of himself hilariously!
Oh, and of course I need to keep up on drawing so my skills won't get any worse than they already are. Pfft. I'm a mess.
But on the bright side I am learning how to make Polymer clay crafts. I've already made quite a few, and am looking forward to making more. So far most of them have been unoriginally created by me, but I've done a few on my own, like my jack-in-the-box and my mp3 player, even the ladybug. I also want to try making Takuto and Meroko from Full Moon and Soul's headband emblem from Soul Eater. One things for sure, I'll definitely be keeping busy for a while.
Spring Break cannot come soon enough.

Friday, January 27, 2012

First Post. Don't I feel special.

Hey everyone who may or may not be reading this. This is the first post of this new blog I'm starting, which will NOT be about poetry, like my other one. These posts will be kind of like a journal, I suppose, so if you want to listen to my stupid teenage angst, you are welcome to do so.
So yeah, I've decided to start a diary, for no particular reason. It's not going to be a "I <3..." diary, or about how dreamy the quarterback is. I'm just not that type of person. This is just going to be about how I view my life. That will probably be it. I'll be venting, I guess.
I will bring up a topic I find myself thinking about a lot. I really wish my life would stay the same. I truly do not wish to 'grow up', I don't want to change. I constantly find myself thinking about what life will be like when I die, or when everyone I ever knew or met, has died too. And what will things be like? Where will all the possessions and things I grew up with move on to? Where does my soul go? All of my memories, all the things I've seen, done, said, heard, will all dissipate. They will never be returned to me. How does life even work? How is it that we, as human beings, can create life? Why do we bring ourselves to think about things like this, just as I have? Nearly every day things like this run through my brain. Resonating through a body that is insignificant compared to the rest of mankind's existence. It surprises me when people say "Live your life to the fullest", because what does that even mean? What is "The fullest"? How do I get there, exactly? I don't know, and I can bet you anything that the people who say it have no clue as to what it means either.