Sunday, May 6, 2012

Hmmm... Depressing poetry, no?

So hello everyone on here who doesn't exist. It's me again. Feel free to tell me how disappointed you all are that I'm not someone of immediate interest.
So, a lot has been happening lately, and I'm surprised I haven't broken down crying yet. Maybe I'm just some emotionless blob who just can't cry over something serious anymore.
My mother and grandma have left for two weeks to SD, to see my grandfather who may or may not be dying. Possibly the latter. I hardly ever see him, and I don't know much about him either. It's kind of like my dad. Except that I see my father much more frequently. And I know him better. So maybe it's more like an extreme  dad scenario. Or maybe I'm the one exaggerating.
It's the latter.
So now that my 'guardians' have left, I am now at my house, typing on a computer, sleeping in my mother's room instead of the couch (My bed has paintings and wall decorations on it. We are re-doing my room) left with only my brothers, one of whom doesn't live with us anymore, but still lives very close by, so he's taking care of us basically, and his girlfriend. I don't want to go to school tomorrow because I don't want the threat of breaking down suddenly while learning algebra and have everyone asking me "Faith? Are you crying? What's wrong?" How the hell am I going to answer that?
It's like this:
"Faith, what's wrong?" To which I would reply. "Oh, it's nothing." Then they would automatically say, "It's not nothing. Please tell me." I would say, "Why do you want to know?" They would say, "Because I care about you." What a load of shit that is. After a few moments of me rejecting their.... Ahem.. offer to help me through whatever it is I would be crying about, they would say "Whatever. If you're not going to tell me than fine." And walk away in a huff. It has happened more than once. It is all just curiosity that they are trying to mask as false consideration.
Oh yes, and I also have a cold.

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