Thursday, December 18, 2014


So I'm right in the middle of exams now.
It's all so useless, really.
If you need an end-of-semester exam to tell yourself and the school how well you're teaching your students, you're obviously not doing it right.
Anyway, I have Algebra next, and all I'm doing is waiting around for the last lunch to be over.
I hate when the schedule changes around like this. Why can't we pick what lunch we have??
It's so stupid. Do they just expect everyone to be friends and not have the difficulty of having to find somewhere to sit? I swear, this school is run by complete idiots.
Oh well. Only one more day after this for exams, then I'm home free for a few weeks.
I can't wait for Christmas. I'll get to see my dad, and I'll be away from this hellish state.
I hate it here.
But I mostly hate this damn school.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Junior fun

So, I forgot about this blog again.
It's kind of like a family member that you only see every once and a while and you're not really that close to them but you still find the need to vent something to them every time they ask you a question like "How is school?"
But anyway, I'm a junior now.
Pretty unexciting.
But if anyone here read one of my older posts (the one mentioning my relationship), I'd just like to say that I'm back in one.
With the same person as last time. Heh.
Tomorrow is Saturday, the Military Ball. He asked me to go with him.
I'm nervous as hell.
Kind of scared too.
I hope I'm not too awkward.

I have a dress and whatnot, and heels. Which make me almost the same height as my boyfriend. (He's 6'1 or 6'2)
Which probably wasn't a great idea.
Oh, and just to point out, the heels aren't massive. I'm already 5'9.
Stupidly tall, ya'll.

Anyway, I hope it goes well.
Lord knows I've had enough bad memories to last me a lifetime.

Friday, May 2, 2014

so its May.

It's already May 2nd, meaning that for me, and maybe several others, the 2013 - 2014 school year is drawing to a close. May 29th, my last day of being a sophomore.
I won't say the year flew by fast, because it didn't. Lots of unnecessary drama happened in the first few months of this (school) year (August - November) but most of the rest has been pretty okay.
Events happened in regards to my parents, my brother had to take a massive break from his dream college to make up for one idiot's selfishness, and my first actual relationship ended. Well, I say relationship, but after the first few months, it seemed pretty one-sided on my part, unfortunately. Tomorrow it would have been exactly one year since we'd started dating, had we been together longer than 7 months.
Anyway, time flies, in a sense. I've realized this, albeit sometimes I rather wish I hadn't. While you're in a situation (i.e. school, work, a breakup, etc.) that you don't particularly like, time can feel like a painful, grueling thing. You will wish it would simply pass on, transitioning into another day, and then another, and then another. But then you look back on how much time in your life has already passed, and you can reason that, hey, not much has passed at all. I mean, I've lived right now for 16 years, 1 month and 2 days. Stretched out like that doesn't amount to much.

525,600 minutes for one year looks like a lot, but when actually living it, it turns into only a speck of a lifetime.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

i need a break.

So, for many of us, Spring Break is next week.
-crowd cheering-
I get so tired of dealing with assholes everyday, and that's only in school.
And the Divergent movie comes out in theaters tomorrow.
-roaring applause-
So that's new, I guess.
I bluntly lead a rather boring lifestyle.
I don't do much.

But while I'm making a blog post, I might as well link you to something.
If you click on it, thanks. If you don't, well, I don't really care.
It's my Deviant Art.
I'm about to start trying to post on it regularly, try being the main word.
I'm drawing a bunch of stuff right now, so I'll have some new things to put on there.

Bye again.

Monday, March 17, 2014

I can't.

In a roundabout way of saying, nothing particularly interesting has happened over the past few days.
My mom spent the weekend in St. Augustine with her boyfriend. His two cats are lovely little things~
So I was left to guard our estate (mobile home) with my third oldest brother, and my brother with his fiancee (who shall be named Corduroy for this post, and probably more) stayed with us for the weekend.
How hectic.
I had no idea at the time this was decided that I would be roped into working on a cake for Corduroy's grandfather, whose birthday would turn out to be, well, tomorrow.
Now, that doesn't seem so hard. Make a cake before the next day? Easy.
Except we didn't start on the making of said cake until about 9:30 at night. Not so easy.
I'm all for helping people in situations, and making a cake didn't seem to be all that complicated. It was a diabetic cake, which made things a bit more difficult, but it still didn't seem like something we hadn't already had to do before.
Which, coincidentally, we've done this same thing many times. Both me and Corduroy, staying up until the late hours, making cakes that have to be finished and frosted and decorated by the next day.
But this cake, oh this cake, became the absolute bane of my existence. I already dislike carrot cake, on account of, well, I'm allergic to carrots. But now I detest carrot cake.
So many things went wrong.
And here I list them:

  • Flour, carrot shreds, egg, vanilla, and various other ingredients ended up practically coating the floor by the end of this seemingly small task
  • The cake is diabetic, so it wouldn't rise like a normal cake.
  • It wouldn't rise.
  • The damn cake WOULDN'T RISE.
Not to mention that when we poured the batter into the already Crisco-ed pan, there was only a half-inch of cake, and we had to make more batter. Which ended up not being the same color.
Aaaaand repeat.
We also had to make cream cheese frosting, which, unfortunately, was far too complicated for what it was.
Aa the recipe only contained enough ingredients for the frosting as would cover, maybe one single cupcake.
It was almost 3 am. We thought we were done.
We cleaned up the counters, floor, put the cake on the stove to cool overnight, and put all the dishes in the sink so we could wash them the next day.

Oh, well we were mistaken to think everything would turn out great.
I decided to do the dishes, and made myself breakfast for once, and did the laundry. All was peaceful
Or so I thought.

Upon removal of the cake from the pan, we realized something.
You guessed it.
And now, we didn't even have enough cake to call it a cake. It looked more like a brownie.
And we screamed.
And we started making more cake.
And we had to reuse the dishes I had just washed.
When 2:00 pm rolled around, the cake had just finished baking and now we just had to wait for it to cool.
Which would have been fine, if they just wanted an unfrosted cake.
So we then had to clear out space in the fridge for it, removing food and condiments, one bowl of fruit slices having turned completely moldy and spoiled in the span of a few days.
So that was done.
It cooled by about 3:00. We were almost in the clear.
Until my tired-from-work oldest brother was given the task of flipping the cake out of the tray, and, stupidly, he flipped it.
Onto the counter.
And then.
The cake.
Breaks in half.
-cracking knuckles-
Luckily, I swooped in and saved the day before Corduroy did something she may regret.
We got the cake looking like someone hadn't just destroyed it.
And it got decorated.
And they were on their way to the birthday party.
-mini celebration-

After all that cake nonsense, I had more chores to do.
By the time my mom got home on Sunday, I was immensely tired from the weekend and my third oldest brother had done absolutely nothing. Needless to say I was slightly pissed.
But no worries, he got plenty of grief from my mom, oldest brother, and Corduroy, so that was plenty for me.
And my mom bought one of my favorite foods. Salmon fillets stuffed with crab and seafood from Sam's Club.
Yayyy Mom~

And today we get to eat a corned beef brisket. Good god yes.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day everyone. I'll be off spending the last few hours of school doing pointless lessons of things I already know.

Friday, March 14, 2014

-uncontrollable sighing-

More frustration. More anger.
Yesterday morning, I got to school about a half hour before I would usually even be awake, and I got to spend the whole time with my friends, who, in reference to my last post, I shall name 'Latter' and 'Former'.
So Latter has just gotten off the bus, and Former was waiting for her to get there, just as I was walking up.
And my god, there was some distance between them, both looking equally frustrated.
Not to mention that both of them were talking about themselves, Latter mentioning how she can't wait to move in with her mom in Orlando and Former talking about how she wants her iPad back from her dad so she can Skype with her boyfriend in another state.
And they were both talking to me, directly. Not to each other.
Luckily, I was able to draw them into talking to each other by creating conversation myself.
Amazing, aren't I?
But being around both of them tends to be kind of awkward nowadays. I wish they'd just get along again.
It seems for the time being, I can get along with Latter, and I can get along with Former, but the two of them can't get along with each other?
I know how sometimes people say that change is okay and that it happens, but I don't want it to. I just want things to be normal again.
I've lost my train of things to talk about, so I'm ending this here.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014


If any of you can recall, I posted here two years ago saying how I was turning 14, and how 15 would be a scary number for me.
Well, here I am, 16 years old. Of course my birthday was a week ago this time.
I'm sitting here in my Web Design class, typing away on a ridiculously loud keyboard.
Seriously, isn't there more in the school's budget to make the keyboards not obnoxious and  irritating?
Anyway, stuff has progressed, like anyone else's life has been, and I've been... more or less vexed.
I don't know. I just want something to happen. Not something horrible that makes everything it outcomes to turn into some drama-filled "screw you life" fest, or into something that makes me wish like nothing had ever happened in the first place. But something. Something that will change me.
I don't like who I am. I like who my friends are, but as of late they are growing apart, each one telling me their own sides and me being torn apart like a wet piece of paper.
After three years of spending more time with each other than they do with me, and of continuously telling me they're each others best friend, they want to say I'm they're best friend now?
I just don't understand.
I love both of them very much, but this is overwhelming. I mean, the former is tired of the latter acting like a "drama queen" and the latter is telling me she doesn't understand why the former is angry?
-angry screams and noises of frustration-
It happened so suddenly. Kill me.
And my friend who I talked to each day has now changed from talking to me every day to spending every waking our playing League of Legends with his new friend. And every time I try to Skype with him or call / text him, he's on a call with someone else or his phone is dead.
His phone has been "dead" for two weeks now.
-more angry screams and noises of frustration-
I just want to go home. Go home and sleep. And probably eat. And then regret my eating choices and do more squats, lunges, and planks in the middle of a messy room that still won't get cleaned this week.
Time to haul ass to 7th period. And then, I can finally go home.
-silent cheering-