Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Ok.

If any of you can recall, I posted here two years ago saying how I was turning 14, and how 15 would be a scary number for me.
Well, here I am, 16 years old. Of course my birthday was a week ago this time.
I'm sitting here in my Web Design class, typing away on a ridiculously loud keyboard.
Seriously, isn't there more in the school's budget to make the keyboards not obnoxious and  irritating?
Anyway, stuff has progressed, like anyone else's life has been, and I've been... more or less vexed.
I don't know. I just want something to happen. Not something horrible that makes everything it outcomes to turn into some drama-filled "screw you life" fest, or into something that makes me wish like nothing had ever happened in the first place. But something. Something that will change me.
I don't like who I am. I like who my friends are, but as of late they are growing apart, each one telling me their own sides and me being torn apart like a wet piece of paper.
After three years of spending more time with each other than they do with me, and of continuously telling me they're each others best friend, they want to say I'm they're best friend now?
I just don't understand.
I love both of them very much, but this is overwhelming. I mean, the former is tired of the latter acting like a "drama queen" and the latter is telling me she doesn't understand why the former is angry?
-angry screams and noises of frustration-
It happened so suddenly. Kill me.
And my friend who I talked to each day has now changed from talking to me every day to spending every waking our playing League of Legends with his new friend. And every time I try to Skype with him or call / text him, he's on a call with someone else or his phone is dead.
His phone has been "dead" for two weeks now.
-more angry screams and noises of frustration-
I just want to go home. Go home and sleep. And probably eat. And then regret my eating choices and do more squats, lunges, and planks in the middle of a messy room that still won't get cleaned this week.
Time to haul ass to 7th period. And then, I can finally go home.
-silent cheering-

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