Thursday, January 22, 2015

..hey

So, I've been in a void recently.
A lot of shit has been piling up, and gradually pulling all the happiness from me.
I've been doing shit I'm not proud of lately.
And my family isn't helping. Being around them is making everything so much worse.
I feel bad for my boyfriend. He knows how unhappy I am right now, and still he's willing to listen to my venting and angry spells and my frustrations.

He's keeping me somewhat level-headed. I don't deserve it.

I haven't been myself lately, is the best way I can put it.
Apparently, people in my house have noticed, but all they can say about it is "You've been really bitchy lately," or "You've had such a bad attitude."
All I can think is, I hate you all.
I don't even want to talk to most of them later on in my life.
I might still talk to my mom, but even that I'm hesitating on.

They don't understand. I really don't mean to sound like an angsty teenager when I say this, but they really don't.

Right now, I'm in shambles.
Right now, I'm sitting in a classroom, when all I want to do is curl up in my room and cry.
Right now, I can't see happiness in the world.

Right now, I'm fucked up.