Sunday, March 29, 2015

bad dreams

So, last night was basically no different from any other, save for my dog who fell instantly asleep under and in my arms, snuggled with me under the blankets. It was late, so I eventually drifted to sleep.

Then the nightmares happened.

Now, nobody really enjoys having nightmares. This one was particularly daunting, for me anyway. I woke up drenched in sweat and crying hysterically. My dog was completely confused.
The center of focus for this dream? Break ups. And death.
To put it simply, my boyfriend ended up breaking up with me with no real explanation. Things have been happening with us lately, (no, nothing to constitute breaking up. We haven't been arguing, or anything) so maybe that was on my mind. But all I can remember is it felt so real. I hate when nightmares feel realistic. I woke up not knowing where I was. I was shaking.
I love him so much, and it would break my heart if he did something like that to me.
People have betrayed me through lies and questionable circumstances before. And just the imagery of that happening again was enough to send my emotions into a whirlpool.
The image of him walking away from me, and my hands as they reached for him is burning in my mind. I can't shake it at all.
In the dream, I lay in my room on the floor, tears streaking down my face. But that was it, my only form of crying. I got a phone call later that my boyfriend had been murdered. Immediately, I reasoned in my mind that he wasn't technically my boyfriend anymore. Numbly I tried to convey this to the person on the phone, but the line was dead. I dropped the phone (literally dropped the phone) and went back to my room to cry about him breaking up with me. Like my mind didn't even register that he was dead.
The next day, I went to school. There was an announcement about it.
One of our friends came up to me and said, "Did you hear about ____?" I looked at him and laughed a little, then said back, "Yes. He broke up with me."

Then I woke up.
Kind of a strange way to cut off a dream.

Anyway, so that's been the only thing of interest that's happened to me lately.
Except for that last Monday, I went to Rainbow Springs with some friends and family.
And, unknown to us, there was an old man swimming naked in the same area as us.
*internal screaming*
Also, a caterpillar crawled onto my sandaled foot, and I screamed and ran away. Then I got scared of a butterfly. (Hey, from my peripheral vision it looked like a wasp, okay)
My boyfriend gave the argument "Hey, at least the caterpillar didn't land on your face," to me, which, yes, happened to him instead.
I had a fun time. We also went to Ripley's Believe It or Not?, which, surprisingly, I'd never been to before, despite living in Florida.

It was a nice Spring Break.
I hope anyone reading this had a good one too.

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